Gibson's Springtime Song (to the tune of "Deck the Halls"):
'Tis the season to chase mousies (Fa la la la la, la la la la)
Snatch them from their little housies (...)
First we chase them 'round the field (...)
Then we have them for a meal (...)
Toss them here and catch them there (...)
See them flying through the air (...)
Watch them fly and hear them squeal (...)
Falling mice have great appeal (...)
See the hunter stretched before us (...)
He's chased the mice in field and forest (...)
Watch him clean his long white whiskers (...)
Of the blood of little critters (...)
links in
Harold had never wanted a woman so much in his life, upon overhearing the
22-year-old beauty remark that he was too old and out of shape for her. The
determined septuagenarian immediately embarked upon a rigorous self-improvement
program. He had his face lifted, bought a toupee, ran five miles every day,
lifted weights and adopted a strict vegetarian diet. Within months, the
rejuvenated man won the young woman's heart, and she agreed to marry him.
On the way out of the chapel, however, Harold was fatally struck
by lightning. Furious, he confronted Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "How
could you do this to me after all the pain I went through?"
"To be honest, Harold," Saint Peter sheepishly replied, "I didn't
recognize you."